The Impact of Childhood Abuse on Women’s Adult Relationships - GoodTherapy.org Therapy Blog (2024)

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September 25, 2012Contributed by Jen Wilson, GoodTherapy.org Correspondent

Children who have been victims of maltreatment can develop emotion regulation problems that affect many areas of their lives. Some survivors of abuse can experience symptoms of posttraumatic stress, anxiety, and depression throughout life. Coping and relational skills learned in childhood form the foundation from which future behaviors evolve. It has been hypothesized that women who survived maltreatment, in the form of physical or sexual abuse or neglect, will have sexual challenges in adult relationships. To test this theory, Alessandra H. Rellini of the Department of Psychology at the University of Vermont conducted a study involving 192 women ranging in age from 18 to 25.

The study focused on how emotional regulation, childhood maltreatment, sexual expression, sexual satisfaction, and relationship intimacy were associated in the context of committed adult relationships. The women in the study completed online surveys describing the type of abuse they experienced and their level of intimacy, affectionate expression, and sexual satisfaction in their current relationships. Rellini found that the more severe the childhood abuse was that the women experienced, the more unsatisfied they were in their adult relationships. This was true with respect to general and sexual relationship satisfaction. The severity of abuse also directly predicted the severity of emotional regulation impairment, which could be indirectly influential of satisfaction.

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In contrast to Rellini’s predictions, however, the findings did not demonstrate any association between emotional regulation impairment and intimacy or emotional expression. This was rather surprising, as previous research has suggested that abuse survivors tend to have challenges sustaining emotionally healthy sexual relationships. One factor that may have contributed to these results is the broad categorization of abuse used in this study. Specifically, this study did not examine sexual abuse separately from emotional or physical abuse to determine each type of abuse’s independent effect on emotional regulation. Despite this limitation, Rellini believes her findings provide evidence of unique correlations between childhood maltreatment and adult relationships for women, but more work needs to be done. “Research is now needed to explore the stability of such findings over time in order to determine the time course and sequencing of change between the studied variables,” she said.

Reference:
Rellini, Alessandra H., Anka A. Vujanovic, Myani Gilbert, and Michael J. Svolensky. Childhood maltreatment and difficulties in emotion regulation: Associations with sexual and relationship satisfaction among young adult women.Journal of Sex Research49.5 (2012): 434-42. Print.

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  • belinda

    September 25th, 2012 at 3:17 PM

    It is kind of hard to believe this new research given that for so long we have all been told how much damage this does to us in our later years. I have always attributed my inability to remain in a loving and committed relationship due to the fears that I have because of the abuse that I suffered. Have I been wrong all this time? Have I been using this as my crutch, my excuse for not wanting to get close to anyone, without this really being the problem at all?

    Reply

  • Debra

    January 3rd, 2014 at 9:25 AM

    No Belinda, it’s not a crutch. Whatever abuse you went through can cripple you and all your future relationships. Most of us try very hard to move forward and desire greatly a partnership with someone who will actually love us. But too often the demons of our past hold us back from getting what we most desire. I’ve read books and stories about people who have been able to heal and move forward so I suppose it’s possible. But it’s my belief that the damage so many of us suffered started at such a young age and was long-lasting and severe, that the emotional bonds that we were supposed to form never did and it changes us forever. The early years of a child’s life are where we learn to trust and we learn that we are protected. Sadly for most of us here, the people who we were supposed to be protected by and be able to trust were our abusers. So it’s not a crutch. We all have had to find ways of coping without the tools we so desperately needed. When we don’t have those coping tools, we reach for something, anything, to hold us up and keep going on. Sadly the things we try don’t work and so we try to live life by numbing out the memories through drugs or alcohol or inappropriate sexual behavior. There are no easy answers for us. I wish you all the best, and hope you find some peace at some point in your life.

    Reply

  • ms l

    October 14th, 2014 at 10:00 PM

    15OI was abused by my mom. Around age12 she started beating me with belts and stitches. She gave me at least 3 beating a week. I had to learn to cook startingvat age 8.I never could speak up or voice my thoughts. When i was about 14 i tried to kill myself but my neighbor knocked the spoon of rat poison out my hand before i could get the spoon to my mouth. I was a nerves reak growing up in th house. When i turned 15 my stepdad came home when i was babysitting and asked me to have sex with him and he would stop my mom from beating me. Three weeks later i was raped,because i ran away from home. My store is painfuland so are the others. I share your pain. I thank God that i am still alive.

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The Impact of Childhood Abuse on Women’s Adult Relationships - GoodTherapy.org Therapy Blog (2024)

FAQs

What effect does childhood abuse have on adult relationships? ›

Your attachment style, or the way you bond with your partner, is shaped in childhood; abuse survivors often cannot feel secure within a relationship. This insecurity can lead to an unwillingness to engage in even the smallest of conflicts, to avoid intimacy, and to fear being vulnerable.

How does unresolved childhood trauma affect adult relationships? ›

Childhood Trauma and Relationships. When trauma is unresolved, you will likely experience frequent triggers that can cause an emotional response. Often, these are behaviours of others that unintentionally act as reminders of the original trauma, leading us to experience attacks from partners where none were intended.

What are the five effects of abuse? ›

Child abuse and neglect can result in a variety of short-term and long-term consequences. In the short term, some of the effects children may experience can include depression, anxiety, altered sleep cycles, regressive behavior, and low self-esteem.

How to recover from an abusive childhood? ›

Continue reading for tools, insights, and strategies to navigate their healing journey from the trauma of child abuse and neglect.
  1. Embrace Your Truth. ...
  2. Seek Help and Guidance. ...
  3. Find Community in Support Groups. ...
  4. Nurture the Body and Mind. ...
  5. Set Boundaries to Establish Healthy Relationships. ...
  6. Find Illumination in Education.
Jul 13, 2023

What does unhealed childhood trauma manifest as? ›

Unhealed trauma can lead to a variety of mental health challenges in adulthood, including depression, anxiety, and addiction.

Can past trauma ruin a relationship? ›

Major trauma from the past can affect your thoughts, feelings, and actions in your current romantic relationship. Negative beliefs and painful emotions stemming from trauma can get in the way of close connection with your partner. Effective trauma treatment can help to resolve these lingering difficulties.

How to recognize if your childhood trauma is affecting you as an adult? ›

Symptoms of childhood trauma in adults
  • intrusive thoughts.
  • flashbacks.
  • hypervigilance.
  • avoidance of people, places, or situations that may be reminders of the traumatic event.
  • inability to remember details about the traumatic event.
  • distorted beliefs about self and others.
  • self-critical thoughts or beliefs.
  • guilt.
Nov 11, 2021

What are the long term effects of childhood trauma on adults? ›

When an individual experiences higher rates of adverse childhood experiences and stress, they are more likely to develop detrimental health conditions. These mental and physical health conditions overlap with the leading causes of death, such as obesity, heart disease, diabetes, and depression.

What does unhealed trauma look like? ›

However, research suggests confusion regarding self-identity, dissociation, and relationship problems in adulthood are common for those with unhealed traumas. Other signs include substance use, symptoms of depression, or suicidal ideation.

What are the six long-term effects of abuse? ›

Problems now concretely linked to child abuse and neglect include behavioral and achievement problems in school; heart, lung and liver disease; obesity and diabetes; depression, anxiety disorders, and increased suicide attempts; increased criminal behaviors, illicit drug use and alcohol abuse; increased risky sexual ...

What are the long term effects of abuse in adults? ›

Adults who have buried their history of child abuse can continue to suffer in ways that can include post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), eating disorders, substance misuse, depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, anger, guilt, learning disabilities, physical illness, disturbing memories and dissociation.

What are the effects of emotional abuse on a woman? ›

What are the effects of emotional or verbal abuse? Staying in an emotionally or verbally abusive relationship can have long-lasting effects on your physical and mental health, including leading to chronic pain, depression, or anxiety.

How can you tell if someone was abused in the past? ›

11 Signs You May Have Experienced Emotional Abuse in the Past
  1. You Aren't Good at Making Decisions for Yourself. ...
  2. You Are a People Pleaser. ...
  3. You Minimise Toxic Moments. ...
  4. You Get Angry or Frustrated Easily. ...
  5. You Often Feel Defensive. ...
  6. You Tend to View Yourself Negatively. ...
  7. You Find it Hard to Cope When People Are Upset.

How to heal from childhood trauma as an adult? ›

Seeking therapy, practicing self-care, developing a support system, and considering medication are all effective ways to treat childhood trauma in adults. If you or someone you know is struggling with childhood trauma, we encourage you to seek help.

What does every childhood trauma survivor need to unlearn? ›

Try to practice forgiving yourself of any blame, guilt, or shame associated with any trauma or adverse experiences you endured.

What does abuse in childhood lead to in adulthood? ›

Adults who experienced abuse as a child may be at risk for bullying or have externalized behaviors such as physical and verbal aggression towards others. They may also struggle with impulse control, and their decision-making may engage in risky behaviors such as substance use or sexualized behaviors.

How does childhood abuse affect people later in life? ›

Low self-esteem—self doubt, self blame, shame. Self-sabotage—self-destructive or self-mutilating behavior. Sexual problems—sexual inhibition or promiscuity, flashbacks to abusive experiences during sexual contact, inability to achieve org*sm, pain or numbing during intimacy.

How childhood attachment trauma can affect adult relationships? ›

She says that some common signs of attachment trauma in adults are as follows: Difficulty trusting others and forming healthy intimate relationships. Emotionally withdrawal, such as an ambivalent attachment style.

How does childhood trauma impact adulthood? ›

Trauma and adversity in childhood raise the risk of numerous health problems such as diabetes, heart disease, cancer, and mental illness in adulthood.

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